Running Blawg! First Half UK - UGA

The Deaner here. I am really sick so I’m watching this one from the couch. I’m going to be keeping the first ever Running Blawg. I hope I’m not ripping off The Sports Guy too much here but it should be fun.

12:35 Huge return from Asher Allen. Almost kept his feet! I was just thinking how unspectacular he’s been on kickoffs…stupid me.

12:36 David Greene, I mean Matthew Stafford pulls the offsides snap knee combo. First and goal. Good start.

12:37 Bad start. Knowshon puts it on the turf.

12:38 Ever wonder if things would be different if Stafford went by Matt? He doesn’t seem like a Matt. Sort of like Vick was always Michael to me. We all know what happened when he turned into Mike. “People will always support Matt Stafford!”

12:39 Only good thing about Moreno’s fumble: Maybe it will stop the flow of Herschel comparisons. We’ve already had two.

12:40 Cats have to punt but they’re working the Tight End early. Just like Auburn did…something to watch. Is Whalen back at UK?

12:44 Sweet quick pop to Massaquoi. I guess Stafford picked the right play out of the 2 that he’s sent. I’m starting to like that system.

12:47 I am taking this commercial break opportunity to add Knowshon and Massaquoi to my Word Dictionary.

12:53 UK really moving the ball. Little is showing no ill effects and they’re spreading it around. Evans just mugged Johnson too. Scary…

12:55 Ugh. Woodson just dropped the bomb. 7-0 Cats. They were preoccupied with the TE down low and Woodson (who looks very comfortable) took advantage. It’s like the Defense hung him a slider, he just had to swing.

12:58 Evader Holyfield talking about double dipping does not make me want Zaxby’s. Sorry Real Deal.

1:00 Dancing with the Stars runner-up Sturdivant just got bent backwards. Could have been a lot worse, I hope he’s back soon.

1:01 And INT…Just his 8^th all year. We gotta gots to get something going.

1:02 Sturdivant to the locker room. No bueno.

1:04 Hard to have a lot of good feelings right now. Kentucky is just easy peasy lemon squeazy moving down the field.

1:10 10-nothing Cats. Good job keeping them to a FG but (best UGA fan voice) Run the Ball!

1:12 They just showed Rich Brooks on the sideline. He looks like JoePa down there. I mean, can he relate to these guys? Kinda like Chan Gailey. What do they talk about with their players? The only thing I can think of is like, Ben Gay vs Flexall 454; Which one is better on sore muscles and joints?

1:14 Flipping around after the first quarter and I see Lark (Lisa Turtle) Voorhies in the Bill Bellamy vehicle “How to be a Player”. I always expected more out of Bayside’s fashion expert. Who is the most successful SBTB graduate? Kapowski? Slater? Hard to say.

1:16 Wow. 3 Turnovers already. Great pick by their safety. Bailey had no idea he was there. Do they know that we’re playing the 97^th ranked RUN defense? Total yds so far 127 to 32.

1:19 Steve Johnson will play on Sunday.

1:20 Four-man instantaneous sack on Woodson. Do they each get a ¼ of a sack? Who decides these things?

1:21 Woodson goes for the Jim Donnan – Champ Bailey 34 times a game tunnel screen. 4^th down.

1:24 First text message from The Blawger. “Brandon Miller has lined up at defensive end at least twice.” Um, thanks Jim. I’m gonna start calling you Loran.

1:26 I know it’s senior day but can we please ride Knowshon? Thomas Brown is a nice guy and all…

1:27 We get an absolute gem from the sideline reporter for Jefferson Pilot. Summary: “Vince Vance is a moron. Every play the O-line has to tell him where to go and what to do.” Sturdivant still in the locker room with an ankle injury. Yucky.

1:29 Knowshon spin move tracker: 4

1:31 I know it’s “Lincoln Financial” now but it’ll always be JP in my heart.

1:32 Dave Archer’s Knowshon – Herschel comparison tracker: 3

1:33 Stafford 4/11 for 34 yds so far. Not exactly the gameplan.

1:34 Sweet flipping channels moment. On COPS they’ve got a guy in a RealTree sleeping bag and a beater getting tazed whilst getting bitten by a K-9 unit with a trailer in the background and he’s STILL fighting back. Never lets me down. Never fight with a 5’6” redneck.

1:37 Blawger just burned up my phone with the longest text message ever from Sanford Stadium. “Flashbacks to freshman Stafford. WR’s diving for everything. Also, why take out Knowshon after those two nice runs? Finally, Marcus Stroud is here. Hopefully he left his roids at home.”

1:45 Almost Stafford’s 3^rd pick. Does he work at the Dry Cleaner’s on Baxter? Because he’s hanging everything up.

1:46 Our biggest offensive threat so far: KU offsides and the kneel down. This is not a compliment.

1:47 Knowshon makes a tough first down and…gets pulled for Thomas Brown. It’s senior day in Athens, GA!

1:49 Sturdivant is back! I hope his ankle is nice and Sturdi. I hate myself.

1:50 Almost Stafford’s 3^rd pick…should I make this my Paste option in Word to save time? Control V!

1:51 Who is Chapas? He just drew a Pass Interference…I love Chapas.

1:53 Nine men in the box and Stafford checks to a run off tackle. Ok…

1:54 Rich Brooks looks like he uses the off-brand Just for Men hair dye. Not natural Rich. Not natural.

1:56 Knowshon up the middle for a teeder after UK tried to cheat with 12 men on the field. We need those points before the half. We’re very lucky to be down 3 at this juncture. Juncture. Funny looking word. Say it out loud one time. Juncture.

1:59 Moreno’s line so far: 10 for 42. Sweet high school footage too. Way to go JP!

2:00 Full screen graphic comparing Herschel and Knowshon. Stop it. We’re gonna have at least 2 more years of this. Are they already building the Moreno-Wing of Butts-Mehre?

2:01 Kelin with the pick to close out the half. Fortunate, very fortunate.

2:02 Richt dropping knowledge on the way to the tunnel. “Not many good things in life come without a struggle.” Um Mark, this is a football interview, your speech to the Southern Baptist Association is later in the week.

2:04 Halftime and I need a break. This is lots of work. I’m coughing up some stuff even grosser than my jokes too.